haizzzzzzzzzz... dunno gotten wat illness lo... mid of the night got red swollen rashes...
damn so itchy la... feel sooooo miserable... then my sis n her hubby brought mi to
kallang best clinic and have a jab... Doc said after 1 jab normal ppl will recover le..
but then... sob sob... it onli recover for a while.. then the nxt day.. then rashes came
back again... haiz... then i go for another jab...the doc said first time seen b4 so serious de
.. the nurse also said she work for 10 yrs plus.. nv c b4.. ppl will come back again after the first jab...
after the 2nd jab... i m damn tired... feel so dizzy and restless...i thought tt after tt will recover le...
but then... i was wrong... the rashes came back again... wah i cant slp for already 3-4 days already...
Night i have hardd time slpin... damn itchy.. till i silver in the mid of the night.. and i scratch till
my skin was damn pain..haiz... i tired both western and chinese med.. but none works for mi..
i cant even go out.. cant even touch water or even on the fan...
cause if i done those... the rashes will goes bad to worse.. will spread thru out the whole body..
haiz... dunno wat happen to mi man...
stayed at home so long.. so sian.. nth to do... ytd night ben ben came visit mi... i wear
jacket and long pant... like as if it was winter.. haha... thou the weather was damn stuffy..
we nv seen each other for abt a mth... and we chat at the stair case.. lolx..
after a while.. he went home le...today he cant visit mi.. cause he said he have to
rush home do things... i wonder wat happen to him recently... looks sad...
hmm.. sian ar.... ahah... btw realli weird... now the rashes in gone.. but later at night
i will come back again till the nxt day mornin.. then in the afternoon gone again...
wth la... now i waitin for the rashes to appear.. then mayb will go to hospital ba...
mom's fren said go SGH is better but i think shld go skin specialist ma.. haha...
k la...nvm.. i will end here... byeeeeeeeeee...sob

Wahaha today is my happiest day out with ben ben... wah so happy...
we go watch the NDP at marine... hehe.. no la ,. we dun have to ticket.. jus to c the fire works..
while waitin.. we saw uniform gps marchin pass and those cute little children awaitin for their turn to perform.. so cute la...
we are stand at the stair case behind the place where the NDP is... so the plane or helicopter all fly by sooooooooooooo near la.. the sound effect is like.. damn shiok... wahaha...
we stand n waited for sooooo long ... n we chat all the way lo... haha... wat till the sky is finally dark.. oOOOOOooooooo.... time for fire works... hehe

The fire works is soooooo damn nice la.. and the bomb bomb sound.. wah realli make up heart beat almost stop... feel so high lo.. wahaha... then u imagine... watchin with ur beloved ones, huggin u from the back... wah is like so romantic la.. hehe...

how can i forget the time we spent together today.. wahaha will always remember de la...
Ooooo.. after starvin for sooooooo long... then we finish take bus back to clementi to have KFC.. as most of the shops are already closed...hehe...

And ben ben told mi tt.. this is the 2nd time he saw mi so pretty... hehe... n today he treat mi super sweet la... send mi up the lift which he soooo long nv did tt lo.. wahaha..
i m jus so happy today... i realli wish tt time will jus stop there... love ya always my cute little ben ben... hehe

Wahhh it is soooo long ago tt i blogged..

hehe...so sian.. no mood to blog lei... TIme passes by damn fast la..

Once again.. it is EXAM TIME>.< NO mood to study ar!!
ben ben also nv pei mi on tue which he always did. he when library to chiong studyin...

argh.. wat a borin tue it is... Stayin at day at home.. Haiz.. i wanted to Msg him..but i stop

myself...Wat for..as if he will care... I wonderin is he thinkin of mi too.:)..

but i dunno y the first time i think of it.. HAHA iF he will Think of mi... He will not call ben ben

lo... wahaha...SiaO-_-

How i envy those couple who are soo sweet together and love each other so much ..

will spend time for each other.. will go out..

n the guy will initiate to ask the gal out and plan every day so happily...

I always wanna go town.. but then he dun wanna go cause he said he dun like to..

wanna go shoppin.. he said go shoppin with mi so sian..

also nv buy any stuff. jus window shop..-_-.. pls la.. is there any wrong with window shoppin...

haiz..

As the same.. Nv get to watch transformer..haiz.. expected la..

he drag n drag for soooooo long.. in the end.. is he dun wanna watch...

wth la.. dun wanna watch jus say la.. i can watch with my frens lo.. keep sayin u wan u wan.. then in the end...haiz.. not the first time le...

End up.. wathcin the freakin VCD..-_-..

haix.. so damn disappointed la... wat do i do to deserve all those treatment man...

mayb i m jus not a gd gf lo.. i also knew it... mayb tts retribution towards mi ba...


Wah!! i realli have to tough journey in my live ba... mayb i will be smooth in the later stage..

Everything in my life is such a failure...

I think i must stop Blamin myself. and change my life le...

Actually onli time can prove whether the realtionship is strong or not.. or tell whether Love is

true...

As time passes by.. Love jus fades off like as if it wasnt there in the first place...

Now my internet finally can use loooooo...
haiz...but i failed for my PVL lei...have to go for the retest....
aiyo..but till now.. i also haven studied for it wor... sian diao...
Nvm la...mayb after hoilday then study lo....heeeeee

Today...hmm quite ok lo... i go science center with ben ben...
we shop at the shop there... thingy there are so interestin...hehe
n i accidentally make a toy spoilt lei..hehe then i quickly put it back lo...
luckily no 1 c it...hehe....

It was damn hot la... but then we still have a great time there lei...
N we touch the real dinosaura nails..haha...dunno izzit realli real la... but there wrote so..hehe
Hmm actually i wanna watch shows in the onmi threatre but then is soo expensive...
now no money lei..haiz

After playin for sooooo long... both of us is hungry lo... then we head to jurong west complex...
to eat the sushi... jus 99cents per plate lei... so cheap man...
When we reached there... waaaa such a long Queue lo... nvm.. we choose to wait...

We eat till damn full lo...oh 1 more thing... there got alot of shuai ger lei... OOooooooo...
wait till holiday then i go there work...hehe....

Oh ya...there is a online shop sellin brownie lei... sooooo nice lo.... n some more is like twice the size of normal brownie lei.... still can add toppin like almond,rainbow and choco chips!!!
each for jus $1.40lei... sooooo worth it lo... i finish all 3 within 2 days lei...
waaaaaaaaa so scare tt i will gain alot of weight lo...
who wanna buy can tell mi lei... cause i dun wanna buy soooooooooo many...
THey onli sell when u order 6 brownie at 1 go...but i jus want 3..hehe...
Must limit myself ma.. or else become feizuzu...later ben ben dun wan mi ar...
wahhahaha

Aiyoooo so sian... Recently my internet was down lei... i cant server the net for abt 3-4 days liao... even today i cant sever lei... but then i m sooooooo damn bored... so i went to sch jus to server the net lo...so mean while i can upload my lovely little cutie blog.. soooooo long nv upload le wor... miss it man...

Recently got alot of problems lei... my bf is again Playin tt stupid game again... argh!!!.. i go his house... he treat mi as transparent de lo...he keepin play his stupid game... play play play.. i reall feel like smashin his lappy lo.. even he eat... he have to sit in front of his lappy... i can c that he is soooooo tired... but still.. he jus sit in front of his lappy n sleep... WTH!!! is he mad???

He sleeps at 3 am in the mornin n wake up 7Am the nxt day... he onli slp like abt 4 hrs per day jus to play his stupid game... Keep scarin himself tt his fren will over take him...

on Mon... we go out... he seems so rush... we go all the way to suntec... then i wanna shop... but he dun wan... i dunno know wat the fuck he was rushin abt...then we went straight to esplanade to eat... after that... we went to c the construction there... We can c the Big ferry wheel there and we were guessin wat is the other construction there was abt....

After abt 10-15 mins there... he was rushin home...he said he wanna chiong his game... n win his fren.. as they were overtakin him if he nv chiong...WTH.. so wat if is tt.. Game izzit realli so impt to him??? bloody lo...

i wanted to went up to the esplanade.. he dun wan... said... he will bring mi go other day...bloodly excuses... he jus wanna go home asap....He reach till the extreme that he didnt even wanna go to the toilet even he is realli urgent.... WTH.....haizzzzzzz....

Wat can i dooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!! we havebeen lack of communication since he is into gamin....nv call mi for half a yr... nv even bother to send mi home...nv even msg mi... when i talk to him... he seems to fed up lo...is this relationship gonna end soon?? i knew it long ago actually... it is like... i m holdin on to the realtionship tt has no future... being with a guy who dun realli love mi...

i also dunno y i m torturin myself lo...haiz...

EXAM IS COMIN!!!!!!!!!!....AMARISSSSS WAT R U STILL DOINNNN!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!
online shop everyday.... then watch youtube... DVD.... SLpin!!!!! NOW!!! even fall sick... arghhhhh... howwwwwwww...... die liao leeeee....

eh btw jus watch 200 pound dvd tt my gor borrowed.... waHHh damn nice & touchin wor... i almost cryyyyy.... eh cause mu gor is beside mi... so i control myself... dun cry out... lolx... or else so ps.... hehe...

wAh... i fall in love with tt main actor... he is soooooo damn shuai lo.... wow!!!...heeee....

Haiz.. fall sick again today... know y... cause it was drizzling outside... & i lazy to take out my little umbrella... soooooo.... haiz... sick lo... my head is damn giddy now....

I still have lots of chap haven finish studyin..howw.... haiz...

dun think so much.... or else... headache again... such a weak gal with a Fat out look...lolx...

Oh ya... Jus now i went IMM to have dinner with ben ben... hehe finally give him tt top i bought... N he like it... n i m so happy.... finally he like the present tt i give him... y m i so easily bein contented... hehe...

i knew it... i knew something will happen today... cause today is our 9th mth anniversary...
everytime we will quarrel on this day.... i wonder izzit a curse....
i have already perpare a present for him... actually i bought it 2 to 3 weeks ago...but then...i wanna wait till today then give it to him....
Before that..i have been wondering shld i give him now or shld i wait till this day...
cause as i knew... something may have crop out to spoilt the whole day...
But then... i wanna take a risk... so i decied to keep it till today....
HAiz... but then... haiz... disappointment....

i thought tt... havin mthly anni... couples will often be celebratin or wat... this day shld b a happy day... but... now... i think otherwise...mayb... every mth anni may also b a day tt the love of either party have faded... cause they been together longer...& they are startin to get tired of it...or startin to take everything for granted....

The worst part is... y he dun wanna meet mi,.. is he wanna play badminton for 2 hrs... stupid badminton....Arghhh.... i m even less important then a stupid badminton....

Of course i will feel sad after he said tt rite... then is jus haiz... then he become so work up... so fierce...

& he nv even wish mi happy anni or wat lo... when i asked him...
u forget today is wat day le ar? then he replied... ya i rmb.. i thought u forget...-____-
Pls lo... such a stupid excuse....:P
aiyo... early mornin already sooooo much prob le... sian ar....

只有你 能够抚平所有的寂寞

我很不想让你找到离开的理由

每一夜闭上眼睛我看到了恶梦

天空切开一道裂缝直接割到我心中

不想装作脆弱

也不想爱得懦弱

其实我非常爱你不想失去你

难道我没有权利说我不愿意

可知道我多渴望抓住你的心

我每天假装开心害怕你离去

藏在我心里

最后一句其实还爱你

Here are some lyrics i pick up from the song...
it describe how i m feel now... xD

haiz... now exam is around the corner i still haven realli study yet... today the whole day went to ben ben house... onli jus manage to finish 1 chap of PJM... haiz..dunno when m i finish studyin at this slow rate...!!!

Stupid ben ben start playin game again... wth... neglect mi again... his stupid fren la.. keep intro him new games...ARGH!!!! i go his house... like as if i m transparent lo... he nv even bother to look at mi.. talk to mi or wat... jus keep hi eyes stick to tt stupid computer screen...

Realli feel like smashin his lappy....haiz... i think the history is goin to repeat... as how he negelcted mi...ARGH!!! i dunno whether can i take it or not... or can i still tolerate him... how i hope is lappy is spoilt... or he dun even have 1...

Today i show him a lot of attitude.... cause tt is how i get his attention... i m damn uncomfortable today lo.. think i m have gastric pain...then he dun even concern abt mi... i tell him i m so uncomfortable.. then u know how he reached... he said stop it la... i m no fuckin dulan.. then u still like tt....arhhh....

wth.... i realli hate it.... ARGHHHHHH

I hate u ...



At the same time...



i Love u....

Movie to recommd.. 28 weeks later... damn nice show man... soooooooooo scaryyy... hmm not bad... now i did find a movie tt like make mi soooo frightened durin the show..haha.... hmm it is a M18 show... nice 1.. must go watch wor...hehe...

so long nv upload my blog lo...lolx....Recently i n ben ben is gettin a bit better.. at least he will make the effort not to quarrel with mi... so peaceful... haha.. today we go marina sqaure.. go in a book store and take a look... i saw a damn interestin book... Guys Loves Bitches...inside told u steps to make a guy treasure a gal more....

It says... guy like gal who always have to play hard to get...gals who will stand up for herself and is not 100 percent avaliable...most imptly gal who gives a mind set that she can live on so well even without this realtionship.. lolx.. And there also stated.. guys take Nice gal for granted... wanna try out their limit...eh i only jus read till here.. then i close the book n walk off..haha
Nice books,.. worth buyin.. cost abt 28.90...

Hmm.. i think mayb ben ben dun realli treasure mi is cause tt i give him a feelin tt i wouldnt leave him?? will be very miserable with him?? no matter how many times we quarrel and he said wanna break... i would jus keep quiet n stop all quarrel... sometimes i realli feel tt he jus dun love mi....he dun even care abt this realtionship... if he realli does... he wouldnt said break so easily rite??

i wonder wat would happen if realli 1 time. when he said wanna break up when we quarrel.. i replied...ok.. tts fine!!!.. i guess he would jus reply...ok suit u ba... then tts the end of us...

Dunno y recently... i feel so sinful... hehe... not cause i eat too much choco la... its a secret...write till here... byeeeeeeeee

Haiz... i feel damn sad lo.... y are all my thoughts unappreciated...
i go online shoppin... saw a damn cute lucky charm... i liked it soooooooo much... but then... all i thought was jus buyin it for ben ben...i thought he will like it... on the charm.. theres a word bi sheng... means must win... hope he can win win win...lolx

haiz... but them.n when i gave him... he didnt even like it... n asked mi y i bought this for him... wth.... but then i nv ans his ques la....i realli dunno wat to say lo...nv... i told myself.. this is the last time... everytime i bought those cute cute stuff for him... he will not like it... so...wat for...wasted...

Today finally go sakae with ben ben le.... lolx... i eat till i m damn full lo...heeeeeee...nxt time must go sakura lo..haha...

HAHA... today Hui Yun n Jia xue give mi my belated bday present.... lolx... is a big teaddy bear holdin on to 4 hearts..haha.. thanks alot daRlinzzz..love ya all... muackzzz...

Today i pon lesson again... eh but actually is not pon la.. cause i realli not feelin well... my stomach damn pain lo..pian till wanna faint sia... haiz.. in the end... i even take cab open lo... waste $$ lei. haizzzzzz....

The most SAD part is.. MY SAMSUNG HP IS SPOILT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sob sob sob!!!!!!!! my ker lian de samsung... i m damn sad n feel like wanna cry now lo... wth... suddenly de lei... keep auto shuttin down.. then i on again. it shut of again... NOW!!!! EVEN WORST!!!! cant even switch on!!!!! the screen is blank but the light of the buttons r keep twitchin.... WTH!!! my favourite hp lei..although is the model is quite old.. but i still like it vvvvvvvvvv much....jus bought abt a yr plus nia lei....SAMSUNG pls dun spoilt n leave mi alone.... sadddddd.....

These few days got nth happen wor.. so peaceful...but so sian...i dun like to study lei... how?? i m too lazy to go sch le...N how can i stop bein so blur?? like cher said de things... i seems dun even know wat the hell was goin on!! got hw.. i also dunno lei... then like everytime have to ask my fren.. eh is there any hw? eh wat to do ar? oh so wat r we goin to do now?? These ques r keep repeatin lo... i dunno how my fren feel. but actualy i m sick of it le...Then when they asked mi things.. i will usually say.. eh i dunno lei... Sometimes... when i said this out.. i feel so embrassess n useless lei...

Y like everything dunno dunno... aiyo... 19 yrs old le wor.. still so blur like sotong... even ben ben also call mi sotong dar dar lo...i seems soo lost durin lesson lo... i realli envy those ppl who knows everything have alot wisdom de lo... can i b some 1 impt or successful in the future???haiz...

Ben ben n mi is totally different lei.. when i go study with him... he is the 1 teachin others.. n when his fren have any doubt.. will go n asked him...wAa.. when i c tt.. he seems got an aura around him sia... so envious... how i wish i m there too... but i m not!! who will wanna ask a blury queen like mi,..

Lolx...k la k la... i hate wed... lesson till 6... i wanna pon ar!! haha first 2 weeks.. pon le not gd la.. no gd impression...lol...tue is so gd... no IS for 2 weeks wor... waAa... haha...IS cher is sooo gd... lalalalal~~~~~

HAIZZ!!! today stupid ben ben nv msg mi,msn nv talk to mi n of course nv call mi la...
i think he wanna have cold war with mi... i wanted to talk to him... but i stopped myself from doin tt...Pls lo.. this is not my fault lo...is his lei... his fault... then now... instead of i being angry...he is the 1 beimg angry.. wth lo...

everytime we quarrelled.. he will threatened mi with breakin up... breakin up izzit realli mean little or nth to him??7 mth plus of realtionship... y does it turn so sour??? i knew this realtionship couldnt last long... But i jus wanna treasure the time we r together havi now?? Sometimes i realli dun wanna quarrel with him...N try my best to b ti liang towards him... But dunno y...sometimes... i still yan bu xia na kou qi wor...haiz...

If i know being together in a reltionship is such a misery... i wun rather b single...

today after IS... mi py n jx go k lunch together... lolx... quite fun... but i m so tired...n soooooo cold....i keep swing my body here n there.... The most funnest part is..jx also inmitate mi n swing her body.. but a bit vigoriously la,..haha... i cant stop thinkin sia... then i sing half way... i burst into laugher...N hor... frankly la.. when i m typin this part now... i m laughin too,..wahaha!!!

SOOOOO sian thinkin of tml goin to sch for the whole day... i feel like ponin all lesson... but cannot lei... first week pon will give cher a bad impression wor... N i have decied to change for the better le wor... CANT PON SO MANY LESSONS ANYMORE!! but still can pon once in a while..lolx....

HII.. long time nv post any blog entry le... recently a bit lazy cum busy ma...lolx... My bday jus passed wor... not bad wor... Thanks ker give mi a surprise... with a chocolate banana cake when i came back from toilet n sang mi a bday song too... but eh.... zhou ying le wor... the rythim a bit off...lolx...i realli like tt cake.. it is delicious..but i m too full to finish all... so i jus ate those nice parts...lolx...

N thanks jx for givin mi a piano necklace... it is v nice... i like it alot... thanks... n ur msn cake... realli v kawaii...haha... creative nia.,...

n thanks py n xw too... hmmm but xw... u wanna give mi belated bday present agan ar:(Humph!:p btw xw.. ur bookmark realli vvvv nice lei... some more u do urself de... shld b v hard to do de lo...sing ku ni le....lolx

After shoppin with ker... i went to phoniex hotel to eat my lunch with my family..hmmm... there de cake r damn shiok man.. i ate quite a lot lei... si liao la.. fat for sure... but nvm,..after tt we when to sentosa to watch the magical fountation at siloso beach... the 7.40 tickects r sold... onli left the 8.40 de...

There is a damn long Q there lo.. but my dad Q for it... my sis, mom n i go take pic together,..lolx...After Qin we sat down by the beach chattin... n i looked up the sky... wow!!! damn lots of stars man... how i wish ben ben will bring mi there...

OH now the time is 8.20...my kaiso mom hurried us to line up for entry,.. so tt we will take a gd seat with gd view....then while we Q some fuckin cheena ass hole.. cut our Q.. damn it... go back to ur country n die la... no manners at all man....

WOWWWWWWW!!! the show was damn nice man....it last abt 40 mins?? abt there la..haha...i realli enjoyed it... oh ya... b4 the shows starts we take alot of so call 'yi su' pics lei...haha....realli have fun takin pic with my family... N we have a great laught after view those snap shots taken....

While the beginnin of the show... one siiiiii cheena ass sit beside my sis... while she took out the camera to take viedo... he tell her will kana caught my police de.. blah blah..pls la.. cheena ass... come to our country.. still wanna bother abt others ppl business.... not happy go back la....

Sorry ar,,, i did not mean all china ppl r like tt...some r quite ok n friendly too...but some r realli sucks man,...

Haiz... v sad lei... my bday ben ben nv celebrate with mi...initially he said wanna come my house there at night n pass mi a cake... but end up... he said he didnt buy cause all out of stock... wth who will believe those lo... he said he wanna buy a nice n delicious cake,.. n dun mind if it is ex... pls la... delicious cake can buy in coffee bean, star bucks , secret recpie etc lo... dun tell mi all is sold lo... if he have he Xin Yi de hua.... he can go there earlier to buy it...keep it at home n give mi later!!! wth...i realli felt v disappionted n sad lo....

N he nv even said happi bday to mi face to face or call mi lo.. he jus type it in msn...wwwaa... yi dian cheng yi dou mei you lo....dun u think so??? wth....M i realli meant nth to him? i m jus a gal who he dun even bother to celebrate her bday.... i m jus a gal who he dun even zai hu or treasure.... haiz..but y m i still cant stop myself from lovin him??izzit realli better if this realtionship is to b ended instead of draggin?

DO VISIT!!!!!! http://www.buy-my-things.blogspot.com

MAJONG I LOVE U

lolx...today i go to ben ben house again...Then today i force him to teach mi how to play majong...haha...

Actually last time he got taught mi once lo... but have forgot everything...So today he taught mi again...wAAAA i realli have a hard time learnin it man.... Need to look out for alot of things...i m realli damn blur lo... make damn lots of mistake...

N learnin with him realli damn stress,.. he too pro le... lolx...N his majong also got a smaller version de wor..so cute... but i prefer big de... better to handle...lolx...After learnin a while...i give up n went to slp...haha...eh not i m not determine enough lei...jus tt.. my head realli pain like hell...N my vision turned blur..haha,...

Nvm i will master this majong sooner or later...lolx... i still rmb he damn funni lo..keep talkin abt the jue sheng 3 tt movie de verse...wat must make fren with the majong tiles...so tt good titles will come n find u...blah blah..lolx..Realli have some fun today..

bleah!

yoyo...waaA..recently i think i m really crazy over online shoppin...everyday i view lots of online blog shops man...haha...today i even ordered a total of 6 clothes...hehe but not all r mine... 2 r from peiyi n the other 2 from si hui N 2 from myself... cause if we bought a total of 4 pieces n above will get a 15% discount...haha...cool rite...

Hmm i also get to view a blog shop which sells customised shoes...the desgin on a plain sch shoes... i think i got c them b 4 at bugis... but those i saw online... their designs r much more nicer man...n jus cost mi 15 bucks... haiz,..but the problem is... i dunno wat size shld i buy?35 or 36 or 37??ahhhhhhhh!!!! cause u know diff shoes have diff size...But i realli like tt shoes lei...Do u think i shld take tt risk????

Hmm actually online shoppin shld have some risk de hor?hehe....Haiz... n 1 bad news... the TOTO i bought nv open any number lei... aiyo.. i thought bday comin le will b more lucky...HUmpH!! sian diao!!!

Wee U Wee

wOOoo..Now everything is fine again for mi...every problem is solved...ben n i r back together again...But i have asked him a ques... Do u still love mi? he said yes...n izzit same as b 4?he said..mayb a bit lesser as recently happened alot of problems n our frequent quarrel blah blah...

Last few days ago..ker ker n i go cut hair together at holland V..hmm the hair stylist look cool...he is pro n had cut a style tt i liked v much..lol... hmm now i have cut my hair..is turn for mi to get it dye...haha,, but too bad..recently i pok le..saded

Hmm my bday comin soon lo...i wonder how will it turn out like...rmb one of my bday...xiao wang n pei yi came to my class with a piece of choco cake...lolx...they even light up the candle... sing bday song for mi... i m so touched...lol...tts 1 tt i cant forget de...haha,..

N once..ker ker came to my house n ton durin my bday..haha... rmb tt time my sister bought my favourite choco cake..which is damn nice..i think i gain abt 2 to 3 kg after finishin tt whole cake in 1 week time..haha...

N one of my craziest bday..is i continued go k-ing for 3 days...waAa... after these 3 days,..i realli get sick of k-ing for quite some time...lol..2 days b 4 bday with sec sch fren, eve with ker, bday with my family...waaa.. my thorat also feel a bit sore lo...luckily nv break voice in front of them,.. or else pai seh lei...haha...

i think i shld go n buy toto liao... mayb will open lei... who knows,.. if i win... i can change my hp lo...to the sony ericsion de...or i can buy a Ipod...lolx...Aiyo.., dream too much le la...haha... too bad,.. i m gd in day dreamin ma...got 5 yrs of trainin durin sec sch lei...haha...

我们都没错 只是不适合

Long time nv update my blog le... haiz.. these few days realli happened alot of things...things tt i nv realli expected...

Wat is the main causes... is A stupid game...which he is sooo obessed in....n cause of tt... we quarrelled... n cause of tt we almost broke up... He said.. it is not jus because of game... it is jus tt i m too much... too unreasonable...childish n cannot control my emotion well....Well.. i think most of the gals mayb b tt way too....N mayb..he feel so tired abt our daily conflict n quarrellin...N he said tt.. if i wanna break... tts fine to him,...Y?dun u find is ridiculous? TTS FINE TO HIM...didnt he love mi?y izzit fine!!!!

I cried...i thought tt it is realli the end of our reltionship... i m v sad...i tried not to cry.. but jus dunno y.. tears keep rollin down my eyes without stoppin....when i think back of the good times with him.. i cried again...Listenin to some sentimential songs... tt make mi cry again.haiz... i m such a fragile gal after all...

But at night.. ker came...when she saw mi.. i think i looked fine... n i can smile n joke as per normal...But who knows... who knows how sad m i feelin inside of mi...I m jus a fragile gal with a brave front...

N this progess of cryin n cryin continued for 2 days...i was wonderin.. did he ever missed mi or feelin sad too??But.. i dunno dun think so...N today.. he suddenly turn back to normal...I m wonderin.. whether we r still frens or couple?? N i asked him tt... he said..he nv asked for break at all.. he is jus askin mi abt it....o.O

Dunno y... i dun feel happy at all...But i feel relieved,...so werid...i dunno y m i feelin relieved..mayb the problem is finally comes to a stop n also this is not the end of our realtionship?? i realli dunno..

Hmmm... but i m feelin tt i m being together with a guy tt dun love mi...A realtionship tt has no future...tts so insecure...But still... i have choosen to stay with it...mayb because i still love him...still dun wanna let him go...M i such a stupid gal??lolx.... 我被自己困在自己设下的圈套

FragIie

I dunno y.. recently i m v emotional... everytime feel like cryin...N i m also not feelin well...
With much of those reasons... i decied to stay at home...instead of goin to ben's house....

When i was most fragile.. i realli need him to b by my side... But he didnt...In real life n same as n game...i know i m not a good gf... i didnt know how to show my concern n care towards him.. Izzit because of tt... he treated mi tt way? i dun know....

Mornin.. i told him i m not feelin well... he said... ic... TTs ALL!!!.. wth... pls.. can he said some words to show mi tt he is concern abt mi!!!!WHen i asked him... tts all u wanna said?No words of concern??.....do u know wat he said??i m concern n care abt u... but i realli dunno wat to say...Haiz....

Now then i realise tt... i m too easily to believe in a person...N tt is not a gd thing....Cause this is where betrayal starts...When u believe in a wrong person... they will treat u as a stupid fool.. to fool u round n round...i experience it... n the feels sucks... what a person said... cannot b trusted fully...hmm in other words... it is better to believe in yrself then others...

N with all things tt happened... i also realised 1 thingy...i dun rely on him... cause he dun even side mi when things happened.... he jus knew to side others... wat happened to mi.. to him.. is always a small matters...In his eyes... i m jus a childish gal who is always so blur n navie....Some times i admit tt i m navie, blur n childish.. But pls... tt does mean tt i m always tt... i have times tt i m serious...N i have times tt i know wat i m doin...Pls trust mi ben...i knew u will nv c this...Cause u will not bother to view my blog...but i realli hope tt u have some confidence in mi n b supportive to me??... and.....haiz.... nth...

Ok... write till here ba.. byeeeeeeeeee.. i wonderin.. when can i find a person who will defintely b there for mi n supportin mi when i need him??DUNNO...lol

LoviN U

As usually today i went to ben's house...we have the same routine again.. playin online game with him n watch a bit of the ghost rider DVD...After tt.. he continued his game again...As usually again.. we have some small fights abt the game thingy...

Jus dunno y i have a urge to tell him how i felt sooo long...wat i have tolerate... till now i think it is jus too much for mi to take it anymore....I showed him attitude..hope he will notice mi alitte.. hope he will b concern abt mi.. But he nv...haiz... After some time.. he finally asked mi y m i behavin tt way.. keep showin him attiude...

At first i didnt know wat to said...cause i really feel like cryin... But later... i told him... "i feel tt u dun care abt mi..all u care is game game game!!!" i really can take it anymore...i really felt so neglected by u.., since soooo long... u nv even called mi in the night...tts realli disappoint mi alot.. As i told him long time ago... y still didnt he called!!!!

I doubt my position in his heart...i felt tt i m jus a passerby to him instead of somebody to b treasured...

I doubt he listens to my words...wat i told him... he nv changed...

Sometimes i realli think tt i jus realli meant nth to him... havin mi n havin mi not... is the same....

I doubt his love towards mi...which make mi feel so neglected n insecure...scare tt he would left mi soon...i knew tt day may come... but hope it is not a sad ending....

But when i asked him...Do u love mi??he said yes....

Do i have a place in ur heart?he said yes....

i choose to believe in everything he said....But still.. action speaks louder then words

Lose n emPty

Wow...today is the 23rd day of march.. Another mth is goin to pass v soon...recalled back.. in these 1 mth plus.. i have nv done anything useful...Day by day. i jus let it pass blankly...My mind is thinkin n plannin how m i goin to do with every passin day.. go exercise, go out shoppin blah blah...But when come to relitly.. i nv did any of the things i planned...Cause when a new day starts.. i m so lazy n i will find excuses to do those another day..but tt day seems to b ever reachin...If i could make use of the time to work.. i would.. have enough $$ to go shoppin.. if i could use those days to exercise.. i would have slim 5 kg down.. if i would...if i would.. so many of them... when can i b able to fufil those thoughts...

i feel so lose n empty.. feel so useless...everyday watchin amine n playin online game... how will those b useful to mi?? they r jus merely things to pass time without any trace...When m i able to go on track again... fufil all my thoughts ,wishes n aims.... May my gudiance angel guide my way?....

HaTin mySelF

Haiz.. today is such a bad day..i hava quarrel with my mom... cause she is sick, n she ask my bro to buy cucumber for her.. but...my bro have totally forgotten abt it...

After lunch.. we when home...my mom was damn angry when she knew my bro doesnt bought it... But guess wat... who she scold?? she scolded mi instead!!! fuckin hell... y m i always the zu qi tong of hers... scold n scold.. sayin tt i m infilial.. wanna c her dyin of hunger blah blah...Fuck man... i m not the 1 in fault ok...

She is damn bias...After tt.. she asked mi to buy the cucumber for her.. so i ask her to wait...while i changed my clothes... while waitin.. she keep repeatin scoldin n scoldin...

When i went down..i m thinkin.. they always said tt i m the most fortunate child in the family.. PUI... not at all.. i m either the one being bullied or the one being accused of...My whole life is livin in mistery...Can i voice up... NO! i always do not have the choice... N i m too timid to opposed them...As i know.. i m always at the losin party...

I hate myself.. hate myself for being so useless...hate my timid n unsocliable personality...Many times i think of commitin suicide... but i nv.. cause i m afraid...Many times.. i hurt myself... i feel pain...i saw blood or cuts...but i feel satisfic...

While i m walkin to the shop... tears flowed down continuiously n at the same time.. i m cursin myself for being so useless...N everytime.. while my mom wanna scold my bro.. she will nv scold him directly... she will used mi... she will come to my room... scoldin mi.. but when i flared up.. she will said... shh.. i m jus scoldin ur bro.. can u b more understandin... WTH...i m also ur child..i m also a human...i have feelin too...

Y everyone sees mi as a spoilt child... BUT it is not true at all... mayb i may look cheerful or spoilt... but i m not at all...mayb tt is a way to satisfic myself??? i do not know...i m damn depressed...i even cried on my way to ben ben house...N he nv come down to pick mi up form the bus stop have double my sadness...Haiz...

i wondered who will know how i feel... cause i always kept most of my feelings to myslef....

LoVe Is BlinD

Now i finally believed the pharse of LoVe is Blind....

There the story goes...

i cant forgive him for wat he had done to mi...its Jus too much...

Therefore... i decied to end this relationship....

i didnt want to pick up his call, reply his msg... Jus get him out of my sight...

But.. will u give in to him.. when he apologized or threaten u?No!!! nevereva... break means break...there is on turnin back....

After a few days later....


He was at my void deck with his Bloody finger....He asked mi whether do i wanna continue my nonsence...AT first.. i insisted... but later i gave in...i realli have no choice....


i think i can handle him...dun worry abt mi....

Dear fren...i realli dun wan u to get hurt again...jus wan u to b happy...jus dun wan u to cry again become of someone not worth ur tears....tts y i m angry with u...

i wonderin... no matter wat... u shld jus insisted...But nvm...this is ur choice...hope u will not regret abt it...i may not agreed with wat u have decided... But... i will always b there by ur side when u need mi...when u feel like cryin...i can always lend my shoulder to u n provide u with tissue...

There is no point of continuing a broken relationship...which have no future ahead...

Once a Glass have been broken... No matter how u gule it back... there will still b Cracks....

Those things tt i miss.....

Miss you...

Miss ur phone call...

Miss ur sweet talk...

Miss our little quarrel our the phone...

Miss walkin in the park together with u under the bright moon light...

Miss u sendin me back home...

Miss takin the lift together with u...

Miss sittin down together with u chattin under the void deck...

Miss goin to the playground with u...

Miss lookin at nice night scenary over the tall buildin with u...

It has been so long... that i have already have a blur image abt those sweet things tt we have done...

It may seems to b simple... but i realli treasure those time together....

Can i reverse the time... n experience those things with u again...realli Miss it...

IcE cReAM....LoW fAt... waAaa...hehe

YOYO!! haha today i n lao ker go sentosa for an interview.. n 90percen we r able to get tt job...hmm it is abt sellin ice cream.. newzeland de wor... low fat de.. so dun need to worry... haha..hmm i m imaginin i can try out different favour of ice cream each day... tt will b fun n great.. haha...

BUT.. dun have to much expectation for the job first... i scare tt it will disappoint mi...i dunno wat to b disappoint abt.. but jus tt... everytime i think positivity of a thingy... it will turn up to b disappointtin...so i usually dun think in a postive way... can say i m pessimistic ba..

Btw.. ker fren is quite cute... he talked alot.. n say alot of cold jokes...lol..keep makin fun of ppl..say i m so quite... wanna play hard to get...-______-''' Pls.. cant i b jus shy...

i feel tt actually we r quite bad lei... ker promised him to sun tannin after tt de... but sorRy... i was really hungry n feelin uncomfortable de... so we have to Ps him.. left him alone lo... BUT.. dun worry.. he have alot of frens there...so after we left... he joined his fren lo...

AiyO.. dunno y ... recently i m always soooooooooo hungry... cant stop eatin... arghhhhhh... can some1 help mi... i dun wanna b fat... but i cant stop eatin too...-_-''' N plus 1 most impt thing... i m too lazy to exercise...Sorry... jus dun have tt determination...BUT... i must started to train myself for it le... or else... it is hard for mi to success n achive my aims....

Hmm.. later i m goin to ask xiao wang wanna work at sentosa or not... think she will b damm happi de lo.. cause she can eat ice cream everyday n grow fatter..lol...Dunno where have she gone to... not online the whole day...-________-''''

kkkkkkk.. let mi end here.. continue to watch my anime le... sooooo nice.... byeeeeeeee

Thoughts of mine...

Haiz... i m so bored rottin at home.. so i decied to blog again...actually today ben n mi were goin to watch moive 300 de... but... nv again....one week passed again...how many weeks later can i b able to watch the movie tt i liked... like Ghost rider...he told mi, he will bring mi to watch it... but in the end... nv again...how sad i m... to hear it again...i always tryin to b a so call understandin gf... even if he delay weeks by weeks not to watch movie... i m acttin like i dun mind at all... cause i dun wanna qurrel... but do u think i dun realli mind... Frankly speakin... i Mind! mind like hell... but who knows... but actually at times.. when i dun feel like hidin my feelings.. i may show some attitude to him...haha...hey.. i m not gd in hidin my feelings de ok...hmm all this mayb is jus my 1 side thought nia....but i jus feel like writin my thought out ma...

Last time.. i did kept a diary.. so i can write my thoughts in it...but due to my laziness i stopped writin anymore.... n now the diary is no where to b found.. i think i lost it..haha

i realli feel v miserable hidin all my feelings inside mi... at times i feel like burstin out... cause i always feel tt whatever happened to mi... if i talked everythingy out... the next moment i will b fine...lol...

Nvm.. tml i n lao ker will b goin for an job interview at sentosa... wonder if we can get the job...haha.. if can.. tt will b great..ooOo.. sentosa got a lot of shuai ge wor..wahahah..*evil* if we got the job... we will go sun tannin after work or swimmin in the sea... then i can slim down lo...

waAa.. recently i realli gain alot of weight lei...SoMeBoDy said i gained weight le wor... saded... so i decied to slim down le... i have exercise plan planned out with py..haha... we r goin to jog at the park near my house....

I wanted to learn belly dance lei... who wanna learn with mi... i saw those belly dancer.. wow... their figure damn nice n stommach r damn flat... Oooooo... dunno when then i can b like then wor.. so envious....but i dun dare to learn alone lei....whose who wanna learn with mi can Pm mi... dun b shy wor....lolx...

k la... i go eat my lunch lo... byeeeeeeeee...

So BoRing......gOodNewS!!!!!!!

I m realli too damn bo liao as since holidays started... i have been rottin at home... first 2 weeks playin online game...nxt 2 weeks.. rottin like mad...cause the online game i m playin is a beta nia... account will b delted.. so no point trainin liao... waaa train till lvl 44 le lo... sian diao...

Now no more gamin lo... wanna find job.. but no ppl wanna hire mi...cause the workin duration tt i can is too short... jus 1 mth plus nia...haiz... i wanna find a job n work n earn $$..

Now i m pok le lo... no more $$ to spend liao... i still have throng of things tt i wanna buy...eh btw... recently i m addicited to online shoppin lei... clothes r imported from overseas n all r damn nice...online shoppin r suitable for lazy person like mi... lazy goin to shoppin..hehe... Next time i wanna create my owe blog to sell thingy also... sounds cool ma... ppl must support mi wor...wahaha...

BTW results r out today!!!!!!! mornin i m so damn scared.. cause i realli have no confidence in myself this time round.. i scare my account will fail... cause i realli havin a hard time understand n doin it...but thanks to the help from jx n lao ker.. i manage to pass my account!!! thanks ya babe!!lolx...

Heng ar... i manage to pass all my module...haha... but my grades r not gd lei... haiz.. cannot blame any1... i m jus too lazy le... nv realli study... n many of my frens r gettin worried abt mi b4 the reults r out too...lol... so happi...

ok la... v late le wor.. goin to slp le... tata.. nite....ZzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzz